The Shock of Suicide
After years of school, training, and working as a mental health therapist I am still so uncertain about how to process and grasp suicide. So here are some random jots and feelings on suicide.
1. Suicide is extremely isolating. My heart goes out to the men, women, boys, and girls who had to make such a difficult decision. I am saddened to think that a parent, a friend, or a healthcare professional was unable to reach the suicide victims.
The isolation caused by suicide extends to the beliefs held by society and community groups. This isolating behavior is often exacerbated by the stigma that often surrounds the topic, making it difficult for people to talk openly and honestly about their feelings. This can make it even harder for those who are struggling with suicidal thoughts to reach out for help, as they may feel that they will be judged or misunderstood.
2. Christianity is not a bubble or repellent to mental illness. The number of suicide rates within religious communities is increasing, and it’s an issue that affects people of all faith backgrounds. According to recent statistics, suicide is the tenth leading cause of death in the United States, and it’s estimated that one person dies by suicide every 12.3 minutes.
In the Christian community specifically, it is reported that pastors are at a higher risk of suicide due to the high-stress nature of their work and the tendency to keep their struggles private. It’s important for churches and other faith communities to recognize the gravity of this issue and to provide support and resources for those who may be struggling with suicidal thoughts. This includes providing pastoral care, counseling services, and suicide prevention education to help reduce the stigma surrounding suicide and to encourage individuals to seek help when they need it.
3. Are there truly any words that can be said to console the bereaved? Loss is devastating, and our natural reaction is to offer words of encouragement and comfort, but it appears that words carry an empty void at that time. There is nothing comforting about losing someone you care about.
Grief after suicide can be a long and difficult process, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to finding comfort. It is important for those who are grieving to seek support from friends, family, and professionals, and to give themselves time and space to process their grief in their own way.
4. It is not often discussed, but suicide leaves behind a crumbling feeling of abandonment. Feeling of abandonment after suicide can be common among those who have lost a loved one to suicide. This is because when someone takes their own life, it can leave those left behind feeling confused, betrayed, and abandoned. They may question why their loved one would choose to leave them and may feel guilty for not being able to prevent the suicide. This can lead to feelings of rejection and abandonment, which can make the grieving process even more difficult.
It’s important to remember that these feelings are normal and that you are not alone in experiencing them. It’s also important to talk to someone you trust about these feelings, a therapist or counselor can help you process and cope with these emotions. It’s also important to remind yourself that suicide was not a reflection of your worth or love and that you are not responsible for it.
5. Do not rush your grief. Grief for however long you need to. It will never feel normal to learn that a loved one has died as a result of suicide. The pain and shock of suicide will never cease. We will grieve because we love and we grieve those we love.
We do not get over grief or loss, but we do learn to acknowledge and respect those we have lost and their decisions over time. We don’t have to understand it, but with compassion and love, we can begin to make space in our hearts to accept the loss while holding on to everything that they once were.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal ideation or attempts, please do not remain silent. The national suicide and crisis hotline number is 988. If you require assistance, it is available.
