I Cut It All Off
How my haircut symbolizes more to me than just shorter hair.
For the purpose of this blog, when I consider growth, I am encompassing the broadness of the term, both in the physical aspect and in the internal approach. The same goes for my hair as it goes for my being. I am a firm believer that what happens on the inside manifests on the outside, always.
Let’s circle back to 2020, the Darth Vader of a year. Like it was for many, 2020 was a difficult year, mentally, emotionally, and especially physically for me. So much was taking place around me that my health was rapidly deteriorating. I was becoming sick increasingly frequently, to the point where I had Bells Palsy and Strep Throat in a six-month period, both of which were heavily attributed to extreme stress. My skin and hair were also visibly impaired. There was a lack of shine, texture, and health.
Numerous studies have proven that stress is not inherently harmful, but unmanaged stress can be harmful to our health, generating somatic symptoms and disorders. My recent “Big-Chop” was both a literal interpretation of letting go of the damage caused and a symbolic fresh start to courageously make room for new life, regrowth and relearning.
Growth comes at a slower and more gradual pace for me than it does for others. There are times when there is a plateau, but it is not due to a lack of effort or the prospect of progress; it is simply something that happens. But, as with anything, it is critical to exercise self-compassion and kindness while evolving.
Let’s begin!
The Acceptance
Before any progress can be made, there must be a genuine acceptance of one’s current situation. There is no “fake it till you make it” here; you must compassionately admit your situation. We can analyze and make appropriate changes after we accept them. Acceptance occurred for me when I realized that until I got rid of the damaged inches in my hair, the quality of growth I desired would not happen.
As I previously stated, I was experiencing significant stress that was impacting my health; I had to recognize that a change in how I approached things was necessary, as well as starting to break free from personal habits in my life.
New room is being made, new growth is in bloom when acceptance happens.
The Action
Nothing will ever happen unless you get up and move. Acceptance must be accompanied by action. The truth is that starting again is frightening. There will be many individuals who will have an opinion, and some of them may even tell you, “you shouldn’t have done that,” as was done with me. However, the choice is entirely yours.
Seeing the clippers reach my hair was terrifying; I was worried about how I would look with my hair that short, and I’m still getting used to it. Some days, my hair does what it wants, and I have to go with it. I have to remember that although it isn’t long in length or doing what I want, it is healthy, and that is all that matters.
Moving forward, we are solely interested in quality (health) rather than quantity.
In an attempt to gain affirmation of my choice, I asked my brother what he thought of my change. In a supportive and loving way, he shared his approval of it and said that I looked like I did when I was a kid (insert laughing tear emoji). I wasn’t sure how to receive his compliment, but after some thought, I loved it. It helped me reflect on the simplicity of childhood and the bravery that kids have.
They are not tied to anything and do not take too many things seriously, but rather receive new opportunities with an open mind, which is just the reminder I needed in this new season of letting go and regrowth.
- Don’t be so hard on yourself
- Keep an open mind
- There’s beauty in returning to the start line.
I cannot tell you how many times I have uttered the words, “If I could start over, I would do so many things differently.” But the truth is that many of us would repeat many of our mistakes and have many of the same worries. But the thing about taking action is that it serves as a new beginning to do something about it, only now with loads of experience. Experience that we can apply to our lives so that we may live a healthier and happier life.
The Relearning
As I nurture my hair back to its best state, I am not completely disregarding the past, but rather learning from it as a student. I don’t know about you, but to this date, I still have old notebooks from high school and undergrad that if I were to pick them back up and review them, I might relearn some lessons that were previously forgotten. There is much knowledge within each one of us.
We have been in constant learning since we were introduced to this world. We do not have to search too far to understand what we need. Sometimes all it takes is a moment of silence with ourselves and our past. The past should never be erased, as it is an indication of our history and a helper of where we`re headed. Learn from it, and lovingly decide what you will leave behind and what you will bring with you.
The Growth
So you`ve done your acceptance, your action, you're relearning and now you are ready for growth. Ahhh I am so excited for you. Please bring honesty, kindness, love, and gentleness with you.
As I shared in the beginning, my periods of growth have a history of moving slowly and at times coming to a momentary pause. But when it comes to growth, please don’t get bent over by the speed of the growth process. Growth is dependant on consistency over intensity.
Any avid gym rat will tell you that consistency will always beat intensity. You may start super intense at first, but may quickly burn out and give up. Train your mind to value consistency over intensity and the results will last. When it comes to my mental health and physical health, growth will happen by becoming consistent with the practices that help me manage my stress. Such as sleeping well, limiting my interactions with people that steal my peace, eating well, and not stretching myself thin.
In relearning from my past, I learned how I was neglecting these areas. In order for me to be at my best, I needed to make them a priority. Growth may not be noticeable in my hair when freshly washed and kept, but I promise you that the growth is happening. Internal growth may not be noticeable to some, but that is not for lack of growth. Sometimes people’s perspectives may never allow them to see you in light of your true self, and that is okay.
Keep growing, keep blooming despite what it might appear.
(Picture Below: same hair as the one above. Same growth, different styles.) Never doubt your growth!
PS. Because of consistency in my routine, my growth in my hair is blooming. This is two weeks post-big-chop.
