Forced To Grieve
When the loss we experience is rooted in unwillingness.
Grief is a nuanced emotion, it comes in degrees, waves, and intensities we are not always prepared for. Grief can look different from one person to another. Grief can be experienced in tears, laughter, and void. Grief can be colorless, gray, dark, or even colorful.
Grief is complex. I have yet to fully understand it or even experience it. I am fortunate but also aware that grief is sort of a rite of passage; we all go through it at some point in our lives.
What does it mean to be forced to grieve?
Forced to grieve is the grievance found in lost relationships, loose ends, grieving the idea of “what could have been”, grieving the apology you never received, or the love you never experienced. This form of grieving is found in the unwillingness to change, lack of accountability, and lack of care.
We don`t always grieve because we loved
We grieve not only because we once loved, but also because we once hoped. We hoped that our realities and outcomes would be different. We grieve the apology we never received. For the suffering or disregard caused by others that they failed to acknowledge. We grieve for being misunderstood. Misunderstanding is a painful form of loneliness because it makes you feel as if you are alone with your emotions.
If you have felt forced to grieve, sit with this prompt.
Set a timer for 10 minutes and free-write your thoughts: “The hardest part of my grief has been…”
Please practice self-compassion as you write to heal. Turn towards your breath to ground yourself, and as you exhale I hope you find peace with each release.
